Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
