I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
