Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
