you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Randomize
