i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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