I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
