I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
