he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
