remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
