so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize