its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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