i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
