I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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