Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize