I am in a vortex of obligation.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
