Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize