i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
