it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
