you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
