my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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