that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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