Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Randomize
