Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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