i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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