ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
