My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
