I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Green mimosas i think yes
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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