Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
