you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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