The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You left your phone here
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