literally had 100 drinks last night.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Can't talk, ducks in the car
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize