Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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