u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
