The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
3pm strippers are depressing
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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