i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
