the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
