the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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