I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
