The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I cut my penus on the lid.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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