Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Randomize
