Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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