I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
