i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
