.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize