Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
