We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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