The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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