Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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