dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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