Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
