There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
