I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize