ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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