I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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