I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
