So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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