I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
