But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize